can i have a soda can i have a soda can i have a soda can i have a soda can i

Why do they do it?!

There’s a new habit in the Den of Chaos. It is practiced by all three of my older children, and it is incredibly irritating.

“Can I have some soda mommy? Can I have soda? Soda? Can I have soda? Mommy, can I have soda? Soda-soda-soda-soda-soda! Soda! Please? Can I have some soda?!”

Remember the Simpson’s episode where they build the pool? “Can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad can we have a pool dad”?

That’s about it.

Doesn’t matter what it is. Soda, cookies, macaroni and cheese, apples, going outside, coming inside – doesn’t matter. Whatever they ask for, they ask fifteen times per second.

It’s gotten so bad that when I answer them, it always goes like this: “No AND! Do NOT ask me again!!”

Yesterday, Danger Mouse lost a card* for spitting out her request one more time after the “No AND! Do NOT ask me again!!” gate had crashed down.

They also have begun trying the ‘divide and conquer’ routine. One will wander in and ask, say, for cookie.

“Can I have a cookie?”
“Nope, not before dinner.”
“Puh-leeeeze? Just a little, little, little one?!”
“No AND! Do NOT ask me again!!”
{wanders away}
{four seconds peace}
{enter the next kid in line}
“Mommy, can I have a cookie?”
{lather, rinse, repeat}

Now granted: sometimes you’ve gotta ask a few times before mommy a) remembers you asked in the first place and b) has a free hand to get it for you. (Aside: someday, some elusive day, they will be old enough to get their own whatever – by themselves. Without help. Without angst. Without breaking, spilling, or otherwise wrecking anything. {pause to appreciate Someday})

But it seems that my kids have decided that it is best overall to simply hit mom with a barrage of demands and hope that she gets so confused by all the noise that she gives you cookies for lunch. It could happen.

Wouldn’t hold my breath though, if I were you. I’ll cheerfully admit that I’m pretty easily distracted by any number of things. But cookies, for lunch?

I don’t think so.

Rice Krispy treats now, that’s another story…


*the cards: every day, the kids start out with four cards. Green, yellow, orange and red. You lose cards for rule infractions. At the end of the day if you have a green or yellow card, you can get a treat out of the basket. An orange card is an instant 5 minute time out AND no treat, and a red card means Flaming Death (a.k.a., ‘go to your room and think about it until dinner and/or I call you'). Works better on my kids than anything else I’ve tried, from reasoning to yelling to spanking the dickens out of them.