Calling in ‘disinterested’ today

No, not really. But I thought about it. I’m still thinking about, even though I have already begun working.

There is a certain natural order to things in this life; one of them is that when a child gets an illness, the mother will not be far behind. Captain Adventure had a sore throat, sniffy nose and general malaise last week, ergo…I was awake all night with a sore throat, sniffy nose and general malaise.

Sore throat. Can’t sleep. Maybe some medicine? But no. I’m already on 28,217,201 megagrams of Tylenol at this point, if I add anything else to my system I will definitely throw up. Hmm. Actually, I already feel a little sick right now. So. If I were to throw up, would that mean I could go ahead and take some Sudafed?

This morning, I am barely awake and extremely Not Interested. Hence, I would like to call in not sick, but Disinterested. “OK team listen up because I’m only going to say this once: I’m not interested in working today. I feel my time today would be better spent lying on the sofa watching Lime and drinking Grey Goose Cosmopolitan Martinis (they have Vitamin C!) water. If you need me, suck it up and walk it off, because I’m not.interested.”

I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t fly. But it is a nice daydream, yes?

Of course, then I think back, way back, backity-back-back-back to the days when I worked for a project manager who would take ‘mental health days’. There I’d be, up to my elbows in screaming ‘task owners’, and then I’d get a voicemail from her saying, “I’m taking a mental health day.”

A what? You’re taking a what?! Six months to meltdown, tasks slipping all over the place, and you’re taking a mental health day?!

W. T. F., woman?!?!

I’m afraid that I’m becoming something of a weak point in the structure of my new company. You know, one of those points that, when not available for some reason, causes a few zillion things to simply grind to a painful and ignoble halt?

Unlike my former boss, foolishly probably, I just can’t bring myself to say that I don’t care if this, or that, or the other thing, doesn’t get done. I can to a certain extent – but that extent doesn’t extend all that far. It extends to things that were dropped on me, but not to things I said I’d handle. If I said I’d handle it…I’ll handle it.

Even though I’m not even a little tiny bit interested today…