Ever so rewarding…

I love reward programs. I’m a reward program fiend. I use reward programs purely and only for perks. They are, to me, the source of true rewards for my noble (shush!) behavior. When I am cunning with purchasing things in a way that earn me cash or cards or what-have-you, they are mine.

Mine, mine, mine.

They support my Starbucks habit. They pay for magazine subscriptions. I’ve gotten everything from coffee grinders to the latest and greatest Foreman grill. I actually feel as though I have a rather healthy “luxury” life…without actually spending the cash for them. Which perversely makes me even more pleased with them. This set of bowls? Points. This weekend trip? Points. These four silk shirts? Points. This decorative coat rack (which you can’t see because of all the coats but trust me, it’s there and it’s decorative)? Points! HA!

I do not use them for school supplies, or putting gas in the car, or groceries. (Unless, of course, the groceries are a Lobster-Gram.) (Or if we have an emergency. Like, when we’re underemployed or struggling to keep food on the table – at that point, bets are off. But in normal life? BWA-HAHAHAHA! Mine! Mine! My precious…)

Yesterday, I was grousing to myself about Things. Ever since the maids stopped coming, I have been a tad irritable – mostly because I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with my chores. Which has eaten into recreational time that was already on the scant side, which makes me feel very abused.

I wanted to do something for me. I wanted pampering! I wanted something cool, something Not In The Budget But Nyah Nyah I Got It Anyway!!

I went online and checked my options. Hmm. Enough points for a BIG gift card, that’s cool…$300 at Home Depot, eh. $300 at Sears, now you just know I’m going to end up buying stupid old school clothes for the Denizens. $300 at Office Depot you have got to be kidding me…$300 at Bath & Body Works? Geez. That would be an awful lot of stinky soap…which granted might not be the worst thing in the world, but still…

Bed Bath and Beyond, eh – wait.

Do they, or do they not, carry the Roomba Scheduler…which costs what? $330?

The Roomba is one of those things that we talk about getting frequently, because vacuuming is one of the chores around the Den that my husband and I loathe equally. I’ve got a beautiful Dyson vacuum cleaner, which in spite of being an awesome machine that has done wonders for my allergies (especially when the cat-people were still among us) is still not able to overcome my inherent dislike for the task.

Don’t ask me why. I’d really rather scrub a tub than vacuum a room. The only thing I dislike more than vacuuming is mopping.

Sweeping with a broom, oddly, I don’t mind. Even kind of enjoy.

But mopping is evil.

Go figure.

ANYWAY.

Not only am I getting a Roomba in a few weeks (time to deliver cards: three weeks; time to use up cards: eight minutes…ten if there’s more than one red light on the way), but it occurs to me that in another three months, I should have enough reward points to get another $300 at Bed Bath and Beyond.

At which point? Scooba, baby. Just in time for Christmas. No more hand-mopping the Pergo, except maybe on State Occaisons.

Scooba, scooba, scoobie-doobie-dooba, here-we-go-scooba – COME ON!

(Bonus points if you can guess what children’s video that comes from)