Not that he cares, but...

I just cast on this sweater for Captain Adventure yesterday morning. I’m using a brighter blue and white in a lovely, soft, warm wool. I’m already zipping along in the ‘stripe’ section – two more stripes and I’ll be at that main pattern.



Knitting for small children: the knitting equivalent to Instant Gratification.

As I work each round, I think about my little man. I think about how cute he’ll look in it. I think about how glad he’ll be, you know, in January, when it’s cold and he’s shivering his little patookis off and behold! His loving mommy slips a nice warm wool sweater over him, adds a matching cap and pair of mittens. What fun! Warm, soft, loving fun!

Yes. That’s what I think, as I give myself carpal tunnel and $DEITY only knows what-all else knitting up these things.

The reality, of course, is that he will hate wearing it. He will promptly try to pull it off. He will also not like the matching cap and will snatch it off his head before it has so much as disturbed a hair on it and fling it under the tires of the van. Once he gets to school, he will rip the sweater off his body and attempt to stuff it down the toilet.

I will tell myself, as I painstakingly hand-wash the yuck off the thing, that he didn’t mean to do this. I will remind myself that he is, after all, only two.

I will comfort myself with the (equally false) thought that someday, he will look forward to my annual wool-sweater-knitting convulsions.

Sure he will. Just like Ron Weasley.

“I think I know who that one’s from,” said Ron, turning a bit pink and pointing to a very lumpy parcel. “My mum. I told her you didn’t expect any presents and—oh no,” he groaned, “she’s made you a Weasley sweater.”

That’ll be my boy, too.

And my girls. Who, in spite of having had the Right of Refusal on pattern, yarn type and color, will still refuse to wear the lovingly crafted examples of how much I freakin’ love you, dammit!

And their daddy? He wants this one:



Uh-huh. Yes, that’s right. That one. Mr. 44” chest, Mr. Freakishly Long Arms, Mr. High Pockets…he wants this one.

*sigh*

Thank Dog knitting is so @*^&@ing relaxing! Because otherwise?! I’D HAVE A PROBLEM, HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!