How I Know He Ain’t Deaf

Sometimes, I find myself wondering if Captain Adventure actually does have a hearing problem. You know, like, maybe he’s deaf or something. Because you say things to him, and he just…looks at you.

And doesn’t respond appropriately.

“Come here.” {Backs up until he runs into a corner}

“Don’t you throw that!” {Better duck}

“Pick that up! Pick. It. Up. Captain Adventure! Stop! You come here and pick that…argh!” {Yeah, you know exactly what happened there.}

The way he babbles. The way he says “daddy” and it doesn’t mean, you know, daddy. That he won’t say ‘juice’ or ‘up’ or ‘help’, no matter how much he wants or needs any of those things. Sometimes, I start saying to myself, “Well, maybe he does have a hearing problem! Maybe he doesn’t hear clearly! Maybe he needs hearing aids!”

Because seriously – sometimes even when he really is thirsty, he won’t respond to the word ‘juice’ in any way. He’ll just stand there and look at you, giving you absolutely no clue about what he thinks of the idea of juice…

So just now, I was asking if he wanted a snack. “Do you want snack? Captain Adventure want snack, now? Snack? Do. You. Want. SNACK?”

And he’s looking at me with the blankest expression. Almost imbecilic. (Yeah. The kid who yesterday built a town out of blocks that I swear my five year old could not have duplicated.)

We stared at each other. Then I turned my back to him and said, very quietly and with no particular emphasis, “Would Captain Adventure like a cookie?”

“YEAH!” And off he charged for the kitchen, where he stood before the cookie jar quivering with glee. He pointed at the cookie jar and grinned at me and clapped his hands.

Ay-yup.

I’m gonna call that a negative on the hearing loss thing…