I am so cold…

…I am actually tempted to buy knitwear.

Even though I am a somewhat accomplished knitter and could so totally make anything Old Navy can throw at me with what I already have in my stash THIS VERY INSTANT, I am so cold right now that I could totally plop down $30, $40, even $50 for a warm hat and scarf that is ready for me to wear RIGHT IMMEDIATELY NOW.

Thank Gawd the mall closes at 9:00, I think is what I’m saying right now.

What pushes this past being just a little sad and well into the realms of Pathetic is that it isn’t even really THAT cold. It’s 50 degrees in the house right now. Even I have to admit that 50 degrees ain’t cold. Here in northern-central California, it isn’t “cold” until it drops below 35. THEN we start saying, “Whoa, dude, is it me? Or is it, like, cold-and-some-junk?”

We don’t start really talking about how cold it is until we have our annual freeze. And even then, mostly we aren’t talking about how cold it is, we’re talking about all our new neighbors who thought that by moving into California from {any other state except Hawaii}, they would never, ever, EVER have to deal with actual Weather again. And then they woke up one morning and their pipes had burst because the people who build houses around here are also from Michigan and thought that houses in California would never, ever have to deal with temperatures below 70-something.

Now, I know you’re saying to yourself, “I hate this woman so much…I have not seen the sun in fifteen years and it is approximately four hundred degrees below ABSOLUTE ZERO in my house right now and I have to walk my children to and from school uphill both ways through the PERMA-FRICKIN-FROST every single day because Snow Days are against the school zombie’s religion and if it weren’t for the fact that a one bedroom house in any ghetto of California costs $1,200,250,999.29, I would SO TOTALLY move out there just so I could kick her hot-house BUTT Oh my gawrsh, is this woman actually saying that she has been knitting for {mumble} years and has never knit herself a hat and scarf?”

Oh, I have knit myself hats. IN FACT, I have knit myself three (3) hats this year alone!

Eldest has been wearing one day and night for weeks. It is “elfish”, she tells me. Uh, OK.

Danger Mouse took the other and is quite pleased with it. She says it goes with her glasses, and really, I can’t argue with her.

And yes, Boo Bug has the third. She wears it about 30% of the time, and her dolls wear it the other 70%.

And by “dolls”, I mean Donald Duck.

Ya. The NON-COLD-FEELING anger-management-skills-impaired AND BY THE WAY STUFFED Disney character gets to wear a nice warm hat, while I’m out there shivering my dandruff off waiting for his owner to get out of Kindertime (the kindergarten after-school program).

I also do not own a “real” jacket. You know, one that will repel wind, rain and, oh, I dunno, coldness? I have a couple sweaters and a light fleece jacket, and a couple “dressy” jackets that are totally stylish, which will be great when I freeze to death. “Oh look, it appears this poor woman froze to death while waiting for her children in front of the school”, the first police officer will say. “Yes, and look how stylish she is!” the other will reply, admiring my sliming, but poorly insulated, suede jacket.

Do you know why I do not own a good, warm jacket?

Because! I have yarn! And I am going to knit myself a steeked cardigan out of good, doubled Merino any day now!! Which makes shelling out $100 (or more) for a decent wind-repelling, cold-thwarting, rain-shedding parka seem, heh heh, kinda silly, huh?

I’m also going to make myself a(nother) hat. Soon.

Which will probably end up on Stitch.

**sigh**

You know when I’m going to get around to making myself some nice warm things? IN AUGUST. When I can barely handle the mere thought of knitting with wool, because it is 115 degrees outside…