Gonna need a vacation to get over my vacation

Let’s just say it, shall we? I do not vacation well.

There. I said it. I am not a person who finds vacations relaxing. Not the planned sort, anyway. The kind that involve reservations and firm commitments to be in precisely this place at exactly that time.

They stress me the @*^&@ out, people.

AND-AND-AND…when other people are involved? I turn into a Level 42 Stress Monkey, because now I feel as though I, and I alone, am about to completely RUIN somebody else’s good time.

But no pressure!!!!

When I actually take “my” weekends away, I generally have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do until about ten seconds after I’ve left the house. I could go nowhere at all, or I could end up in Montana – it just, you know, depends.

On my mood, the weather, the time of year, whether or not I ever got around to fixing the hole in my tent…I find it very relaxing to just sort of pick a direction and go, and when I find someplace cool, stop.

Shoot, back in the day, I’d get off work on a Friday, take my walking stick out of my trunk and let it fall – whichever way it fell, that’s the way I’d go.

Vacation planning, Tama style. Landed me in some darned interesting places, too.

Tomorrow, a girlfriend and I are getting away from our men, each of us taking one (1) daughter along for the ride. It’s been over a year in the conniving, but as usual I find myself on the eve of departure ripping my hair out screaming, “WAIT! Where’s the sunscreen? Do you have your allergy meds? Where are my meds? Crickey, some old person has apparently left forty-seven different kinds of medication in my cabinet…oh wait, is that all mine?! GAH, do I want to bring the dandruff shampoo, or the ‘for hopeless hair’ stuff? Will I need a lipstick? Do I have a lipstick?...gads, this thing is older than me…let’s just assume ‘no’ on the lipstick question then…did you pack underwear? ACK! Don’t I have any clean underwear? C’mon, all that laundry I did today and I’ve got no clean underwear?!?!” {this is the point at which I discover what while I did in fact do eight loads of laundry today, my dirty laundry is still upstairs in my hamper…}

This is vacationing like normal people vacation, and it makes me a Class A-1 Insane Person.

Also, I have not yet packed.

Eep.

Right! So! In case you’re wondering where I am for the next few days? I’m giggling with a very dear old friend about just about anything, especially if it involves potty humor because we are very mature that way.

Now, where is my stupid bathing suit and please dear $DEITY let me still fit into it hallelujah amen…