Money Monday (Tuesday): October 26, 2009

Yesterday was all about money – which is why I didn’t have time to post about it.

After a few weeks of trying not to get too excited about it, I had an interview yesterday. A very long interview with a lot of different people. We had a rockin’ good time, too, and spent more time just sort of talking about things than, you know, interviewing. It’s a fun office, with a very youthful attitude and energy but a core passion for the work that I find to be an extremely pleasant blend.

Also, just about everybody wears jeans. Which, you know…{swoon!!} No dry cleaning! No high heels! No spending the whole day worrying more about spilling something on myself than working! Comfort! Not to mention that I tend to get fewer approaches from bums when I’m in jeans than I do in “corporate casual” clothing!

I walked away from it feeling really kind of depressed because it went really well.

I know. That makes no sense. But then, let’s look back over the fairly recent past, shall we?

I’ve felt really good about a few interviews in the last eighteen months. I’ve felt good about the job, excited about the prospects, liked the team, thought they liked me, had assurances that my skilz were not only mad, but precisely what they wanted…and then what happened?

Nothing. They went away, forever. In some cases, even increasingly frequent pestering couldn’t get an answer from them one way or the other – I don’t know if they hired someone else, dropped the position, lost funding, died in a horrible wreck…no idea.

All I know is, no offer actually arrived.

NOW. I don’t have an offer or a contract on my desk right now. I don’t have anything in writing, least of all a paycheck…so I’m trying to, you know, keep cool and remind myself that until I’ve got my backside in a chair in their office, nothing is certain.

BUT. Last night, just as I was telling myself to quit being such a Gloomy Gus and to give things a chance, after all, they had other candidates, they had a couple positions, they were still interviewing, don’t worry so much…I got a call from the Hiring Dude.

He proceeded to tell me that after much discussion (some of it a little heated), it was decided that I would fit best into Team Y, which bums Team X out rather severely BUT Team Y sold the logic better, So! There is it. (OHmygah, I haven’t had men fighting over me since, uh…ahem, yes, well, probably kindergarten and then only because I had Oreo cookies in my lunchbox, but perhaps we should move on…yes, let’s move on now…)

I’d be getting a call from the HR company and I’d have to set aside a day this week to come on in and do the paperwork thing and bring my Proof of Citizenship stuff and get fingerprinted and do the background check thing and that would be a good time to bring in the direct deposit paperwork and probably they’d email or fax me all that good stuff so my time in the office could be limited, OK? And they’d start getting my laptop, air card, VPN access [because OF COURSE, you get to choose a floating telecommute day each week] and login credentials going which usually takes about two weeks but that’s OK because the background check usually takes that long still! The sooner we start, the sooner you can be onboard takin’ care of business so! Can’t wait to get you started in a couple weeks here, let me know if you need longer, OK! Have a great night!

I was so giddy with surprise and delight that it was only through sheerest chance that my brain kicked in long enough to ask the one question I’d been afraid to ask the whole time: What rate should I expect to see from the payroll company?

This was it. This was The Moment.

I felt absolutely sick inside.

I was waiting to hear some ridiculously low rate, some hideously “you’ve GOT to be kidding me!”, childcare-NOT-covering rate and then I’d have to put on my stompin’ boots and print out Salary.com charts proving that median was more than TWICE that and then, ooooooooh, then they’d be all, “Well, we can’t pay that, goodbye” and I’d be left wondering if I was the crazy one…except that seriously, how unfair is it that my husband gets median rates (or better) without even asking, while I have to fight and argue and kick and scream and provide glossy charts and graphs from third party sources proving that with Experience X, Education Y, Responsibility List Q-AA and considering that we are in Zipcode 94104, I should be making $$$, not $?

It’s one of the areas where I become enraged on behalf of my whole sex. I loathe the “twin peaks discount” (as we refer to it around here), and have been known to not only get onto my soapbox about it, but refuse to come down for several days even when enticed with chocolate.

And then he gave me a rate that was…not just good…it’s grrrrrrrreat! Spot-on the median, and I didn’t have to produce a single chart, or fax a five page printout, or map line items on my resume and the job description to the Salary.com report in several different shades of highlighter for their convenience?!

{swoon!}

NOW. Like I said, I don’t actually have the paperwork yet. I don’t have that figure in writing, and there are many a slip between cup and lip and all that…but if nothing horrible happens over the next week or two…

Well.

I’ve got a job. A real, live, honest-to-goodness job. A well-paying, debt-blasting, savings-account-building job, doing something that I rock at doing.

Lord, I hope nothing derails this. I could repair so much damage in so little time with this – including a gap that was getting way too long in my work history. That’s another whole money post in and of itself, but I really want to keep my resume gaps to a minimum.

A lot can happen in life, and until we’re at a point where we really are retired-retired, I do not want to find myself in the position of being, say, a widow with four children who hasn’t held a job of any sort for eight years, but who used to be pretty good with SQL.

That won’t be the time to be back to “starting over” pay.

And I’m going to stop myself right there because otherwise, this is going to turn into a thirty page post and friends?

I have things to do.

Two weeks is a long time if that’s how long your kids are out of school bouncing around screaming that they’re booooooooooored, but when it’s how long you have until you’re going to be devoting eight hours a day, every weekday, to a new employer?

It’s a blink of a hummingbird’s eye. (Hmm. Do hummingbirds even have eyelids? Wow, there are so many things I don’t know out there in the world…) (I’m so excited. Hummingbird hearts don’t beat as fast as mine right now. OK, they probably do. But eeeeeeeee! I wasn’t even technically looking for a job, and I get this?! What the heck, Universe?! “Oh, since you don’t ask, here! And you can wear comfy shoes while you’re at it!”? Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but…I think my teeth actually fell out of my head in shock there, bro…)